Galactic Regency Vampire Pirates
Leopoldina van Wowser-Ainwright
So this exists. Isn’t it fantastic? Tee hee hee!
If you write a ‘How to Write’ book, it would seem only natural that you then produce a book in which you use your own tactics. So, from the person who brought you How to Write a Mills & Boon-esque Bodice Ripper Novel, comes a bosom-heaving, bodice-ripping good time. I’m sad that it took me so long to read this after I had such a good laugh when I reviewed Leopoldina’s How To zine.
I hardly even know where to start with reviewing this zine. Is it with regency heroine wishing for some Easy-Off Bam? Is it how we go from strictly regency to sci-fi regency – though the story sometimes forgets itself? Or perhaps it’s the abundance of quotes that I had to choose from to share with you…
Just to give a little taste, check out this sentence:
Even the fact that this was now their second meeting did nothing to lessen the impact of his flawless pallor or the compelling darkness of his eyes, whirlpooling with a sultriness that stilled the beating of her treacherous heart and send unaccustomed thrills of wanton desire racing through the pristine clam of her chastity.
Chastity clam. *snort*
Obviously, this is a very tongue-in-cheek shot at romance novels that even I, as a romance novel reader, greatly enjoyed and laughed at. It’s so incredibly ridiculous that I think the only people who won’t like this already know they won’t like this simply by my (or other) reviews.
The finishing touch that I love oh, so much are the funny ‘also by Leopoldina’ synopses and excerpts in the back of the book. It rounds everything off nicely.