Defriending: Navigating the Friendship Breakup is self-explanatory as far as titles go. This zine takes you not only through options on how to do it but why it’s so damn complicated.
As a general rule, relationships DON’T last until death do us part… And when they don’t last, we have no fucking clue how to deal.
The thing about the zine that I appreciated the most is that it acknowledges the muddled greyness of the ‘are we or aren’t we’ middle space of the defriending zone. It’s not pretty, and this zine doesn’t try to make it so. As someone who is trying to figure out the best way to do the whole ‘defriending’ thing, it’s nice to have the reassurance that it’s as messy as it seems to be.
Don’t think this zine is going to throw you a pity party. Friendships involve two people, and Dr Harper gets into your responsibilities – whether you’re the defriend-er or the defriend-ee. The real lightbulb moment in this happened for me when Dr Harper got into the difference between whether something is a one-off event or indicative of a person’s personality. (What they did vs who they are.)
This zine ended up being a lot more complicated and involved than I thought it would be but, having read it, I realise that’s a very good thing.